Gender roles and religion I

It seems ironic to me that Islam is the focal point for gender inequality in religion. I mean, look at Judaism and Christianity. The most observant families proscribe a particular role to the women and the men. In traditional Jewish circles, women aren't allowed to read Torah and many prayers, aren't counted as part of a minyan (the 10 people required to perform certain prayers), don't where a tallis (prayer shawl) , are separated by a mechitza (curtain or wall) away from the men and usually the service, and are rarely mentioned in any prayer.

Now, the first few of those listed are officially because of the 613 commandments, women are only obligated to observe the negative, non time-bound commandments. This has something to do with a woman's ability to give birth and natural connection to spirituality, that the men can't/don't have, but have to follow a bunch of religious rituals in order to try. Now, I don't necessarily agree with this distinction, but in my opinion men and women's traditional roles should be respected equally, and each woman should be able to decide for herself what obligations she feels she has. Regardless, nowhere in Jewish law is it stated that women should be prohibited from touching the Torah or taking on more commandments than she would naturally be obligated to follow. In fact, there have been women since biblical times recognized for taking on all 613 commandments and being accepted by the community while doing it (as long as she hasn't neglected her wife/motherly duties. Yet lately, especially in Israel, this is viewed as unacceptable and disgraceful.

Additionally, just as women pray behind men in Muslim communities, women pray behind a wall or in a balcony in Jewish circles, so as not to distract the men. And, if you're like me and enjoy prayer, sitting up in a balcony where you can hardly hear the service and women just gossip and care for the kids is not your idea of religious fulfillment. Maybe we're not distracting the guys, but we're not exactly having a deeply spiritual connection ourselves. So where does this idea of women corrupting the spirituality of men come from?

Last week's parsha (Torah reading) involved the receiving of the Decalogue (more commonly known as the 10 commandments). In order to prepare themselves for this event, G-d tells Moses to make sure the people purify and clean themselves and their clothes. In reiterating this to the people, Moses makes one addition: Do not touch your women during these 3 days. This seems like an odd addition to tell the people, but maybe Moses knew the people better than G-d did, and knew they needed to stay separate to be in the right frame of mind. I'll offer a different interpretation that one of my rabbis brought up: Earlier in the parsha, we learn that Moses' father-in-law comes to visit with Moses' wife and kids, who he appears to have forgotten and hasn't seen in years. In the competition between family and leaderships, Moses has chosen leadership. That additional requirement is simply his justification of his neglect of his family duties, claiming that women (including his wife) would be a spiritual distraction for all the men. In doing so, he starts a long tradition of gender inequity within our communities, that is accepted with no questions asked.

Perhaps it's time to start asking questions.

More on this to follow

Bridesmaids Must Be Rich

My bridesmaid duties for my old roomate's wedding have begun. Now, one might think that being a bridesmaid for a friend is a honor, a treat if you would. For the wedding day, you might be right, yet for the months leading up to it, it's one of the largest financial burdens one can stomach. Let me lay this out for you:

1) Buy a dress that you'll probably never wear ever again. And get it tailored, because you know even though you were measured for it, when it comes it will need altering, never fail.

2)If you live out of state, buy plane tickets and figure out housing for not only the wedding but one or more of the various pre-wedding parties. Which brings me to...

3) So many damn parties. Since when has a wedding turned into an excuse to get as many gifts as possible from each person? I don't know, maybe it's just a Southern thing, but for this one wedding, there are at least 4 parties. First there was the engagement party. Then there's the bridal shower (or perhaps more than one, targeting different audiences). Then there's the lingerie party. Then there's the bachelorette party. As a bridesmaid, you're invited to them all. For the latter, that includes an expensive night out on the town with lots of food and drinks, and paying for a hotel room in a city in which you live!

So how exactly is a poor grad student supposed to pay for this all??? Funny thing is, with Becky, she used to complain that her friends had all these damn parties and that she had to get gifts for them all. Perhaps as payback to her other friends, perhaps at the suggestion of her other bridesmaids (who seem to think these redundant parties are necessary), she does the EXACT SAME DAMN THING she was complaining about. WTF???

Reviving the Peace Process?

This morning, as with most weekdays, I digested my daily news along with my breakfast. Now, it's not uncommon for me to pay particular attention to the middle east, but today something was particularly striking.

One story began by quoting the latest figures of violence in Gaza. Interfighting between Fatah and Hamas has wreaked havoc, scarring buildings, bullets and grenades flying high at all hours, and leaving scores of civilians dead or wounded. And all predictions of the future say that this violence is only going to escalate.

Then the following story: Rice, allies at odds of how to revive the Israeli-Palestinian peace process. ARE YOU F*ING KIDDING ME?!? Palestinians are in the middle of a no-holds-barred civil war, and the western world is talking about how to make peace with the Israelis. Seriously, people, get a grip. In order for a peace process to work, there has to be leadership on both sides willing and able to enforce it. Now, one could argue that there has never been such leadership on the Palestinian side, but in this case, there is not even a clear leadership. Even the Palestinian supporters can recognize that the Palestinians are too busy killing each other to win popular support for just about anything, let alone peace with Israel.

This just goes to show how naive and ignorant the western world is with matters in the middle east. No wonder our leaders have failed miserably in meddling over there.