The Booty Call

To give this a little perspective, I'm writing this just after I returned from a friend's birthday/graduation party tonight. And, as is custom in such parties, many had been drinking, some more than others. For some odd reason, the combination of alcohol and late nights always lead to one thing: booty calls.

Now, I'm going to extend this definition perhaps more than you are accustomed. Towards the end of said party, everyone had their own booty calls to make. My coupled friends whose boyfriends were there felt unappreciated because their boyfriends weren't paying them enough attention, and wanted to remedy the situation. Those whose significant others weren't present tended to want to call such people (drunk dial, if you will). And those of us who were single began to weigh our dating options, and seek attention either via phone or in person from other party attendees.

Although none of the above descriptions necessarily entail any physical sexual encounters, they all seem to have a common thread: we seek the attention and affection of others, both physical and otherwise. Whenever we are willing to let down our guards (either by alcohol, tiredness, or just complete comfort) and be emotionally vulnerable, we begin to see just how much we crave human interaction. More specifically, we want to love and be loved. As much as any of us claim to the contrary, this is what really matters to us all. That's a scary notion that most of us hide with our day to day stubbornly independent masks we wear. Yet if it's human nature, why are we ashamed of it? In other words, what are we hiding from?

My dating epiphany

This is a late night blog because tonight I've had somewhat of a dating epiphany. I mean, I blog about dating a lot because it always seems so complicated. But my epiphany tonight is this: dating is simple. Let me explain.

1) Chemistry. You either have it with someone or you don't. For me, this goes way beyond the pure physical or pure mental connection. It's that indescribable pull towards a person that is mutual and makes you want to keep engaging them. And you know this within the first 5 minutes of talking to him/her, usually (there is the exception when people or circumstances change, obviously).

2) Dating is a process by which we try to find someone who complements who we are and what stage of our lives we're in. Don't approach it like a job interview, it's not one: you're neither interviewer nor interviewee. If a date feels like an interview, it's a bad sign.

3) If you're not getting a good relationship vibe, chances are the other person isn't either. That's ok. Sometimes 2 people can get along well and just not click. This is not a big awkward conversation you need to have. Just be honest about it and you both can walk away unharmed.

4) This is the big epiphany. I can and do click with people right off the bat, both male and female. When I click with a guy and have chemistry on top of it, I know right away. I don't have to do some deep introspection on whether there's anything there, it's obvious. It just doesn't happen that often with me. That's ok too. But when it does happen, take advantage of it. Who knows when the next opportunity will arise?

K, with my newfound understanding, I'm happily putting my single self to bed.