Thursday, December 28, 2006

Second Thoughts

How is it that guys think that a 2nd thought is a complement? I mean, seriously. In the past week, I've been repeatedly the subject of the 2nd thought. "What do you say if we're too picky with the opposite sex that we be each other's backup?"

Backup??? I mean, I know that people make that kind of promise often so that they feel they have an out if their future doesn't seem to hold what they hope for, but seriously. Do I look like a backup??? Yes, we get along well, but for me to want to end up with someone, I sure as hell hope he's not "settling" for me.

Another friend of mine told me his female friends were rooting for him to pursue me. Now why on earth would I want to know that??? If something were to work, I would hope your friends weren't the reason you finally grew some balls. Did they convince you to lower your standards? I mean, as a friend, I'm glad they have a high opinion of me and my life, but why do you need peer pressure to realize what a great person I am. All modesty aside, I would hope that you appreciate your friends for how great they are and what they bring out in you. At least, that's what I do.

I think perhaps that's a major reason why I'm still single. Why the heck am I going to enter a relationship with someone if I'm just another girl? Maybe it's too idealistic, but I want to be wanted, needed, appreciated for who I am as a person. Call me picky if you will, but that's the way I expect to feel about a guy, and vice versa. If not, what's the point of a relationship?

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy Christmas

Christmas always seems to be a funny time of year for me. My family usually spends it visiting some island, where you always wonder if they've even met anyone that doesn't celebrate Christmas, and if there's any point in responding Happy Chanukkah. With the recent debates of what greeters are allowed to say, I'm not sure how I feel about the Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas greeting. Personally, it just feels better to hear the former, but it feels weird to try to impose your constraints on the majority of people (much like the rabbi fighting the christmas trees), especially since Chanukkah isn't even a major holiday for Jews. And I think most Americans like hearing Merry Christmas, so who am I to complain about something that's just mildly unpleasant?

It's also a funny time of year because every Jew tries to figure out what to do with herself on the 24th and 25th. In Atlanta, a lot of the Jewish groups have a party on Christmas eve, which just seems counterintuitive. I mean, just as the majority of Americans do nothing on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, it feels like that's what we should be doing during the Christian major holidays. Besides, there's always Chinese food and the movies if you must do something. This year in particular, the Jewish group that usually has a big young adult party invited non-Jews as well, which set forth a huge controversy. I mean, I understand wanting to hang out with like minded individuals during your own holiday, but who cares about someone else's??

Maybe some of those who felt strongly could explain this to me, but it just doesn't make sense...

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Aruba

So I returned Thursday morning from a family vacation to Aruba. Lest you get all jealous of me, let me explain just what this vacation entailed:

1) I brought books to study with. Since my qualifying exam (a big oral exam I need to pass in order to stay in grad school) is the 2nd week of January, I needed to prepare. This meant bringing my large suitcase, and having to bring at least 2 books in my carry on bag with me (due to weight limits on my bag).

2) Actually finding time to study while in Aruba proved more interesting. Our hotel thought it would be a nice added touch to have live parrots on the property. The only problem: they start squakking at about 7am and don't stop until long after dark. You ever try studying with parrots??

3) My mother. For those of you who have heard me complain about her before, enough said.

4) Looking at the large number of Americans ridiculously overweight and sitting on the beach. One guy was married to a muslim female who wore a Hijab, but for some odd reason he didn't think modesty rules applied to him. This was unfortunate for the rest of us, who had to look at his ginormous belly all day.

I'm going to expand on this one for a second. Look, I understand that some people have higher metabolisms than others, and that your metabolism decreases as you get older. But here's a news flash: if you eat a ton and don't move off your tuchus for any sort of physical activity, you're going to gain a hell of a lot more weight. And when you pack on a great deal, your health decreases dramatically. No, you don't need a pill to help you with cholesterol, you need to get off your ass and do something, exercise, if you will. And as your health decreases, your cost of health care increases- who do you think pays for this increased burden? Seriously, there should be a fat tax, just as there is a tax on cigarettes. You want to be detrimental to your health, fine, but why should the rest of us have to shoulder your burden??

5) Family vacations mean separating yourself from the local customs and visiting everything as a complete tourist. There is no going to a bar at night and hanging out with the locals, no getting invited into a stranger's house for coffee and talking politics, no actual interactions with the non-touristy culture. Do I even know what people do in town for fun?

Ok, I'm done complaining. The vacation did have some highlights (beautiful scenery, driving a large jeep offroad on a very bumpy and windy path down a mountain, watching my parents attempt to play air hockey, some cool snorkeling), so all in all it was an ok time. Just not so much my idea of a vacation....

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Common Courtesy

Sorry all, I know it's been a while since I blogged last. I'll be more consistent again now that my exams are through.

Let me start this blog by mentioning that I am well aware that I used to be one of the inconsiderate (although I'm sure I lapse back from time to time now). As an undergrad I was quite accustomed to others providing me with free alcohol, and it never really occurred to me to buy bottles for mine and my friends' consumption. Then I started hosting pre-parties for sorority functions, and realized just how big an impact it made when girls didn't chip money in or bring something themselves. Especially when the same ones"forgot" repeatedly.

Yet that was one instance, and I have since tried to extend what I believe to be a basic level of courtesy in many areas. Yet, lately I've been noticing an overall lack of courtesy with a lot of people I know. It's more just being unaware of their impact on others than a purposeful neglect, but when the same people repeatedly display this type of behavior, it really gets me thinking about said person's overall values. To give you some examples:

1) I went on a date to an Indian restaurant, where they serve curries with a relatively small portion of rice. Now, most people I know when sharing dishes such as mentioned above, might take a relatively small amount of rice then with a bunch of curry, out of consideration to the others they're sharing it with. Not this guy- he took about half the plate of rice, and continued to down it plain- no curry. And yes, you can bet I read into that action- and promptly stopped dating him. That may seem brash, but really, if you're not even going to be considerate to me on our first few dates, how the heck are you going to be with a relationship??

2) I like to cook, and readily cook for others on many occasions. Now, I don't ever offer something with an expectation of something in return, tit-for-tat, but I do have expectations that if I'm generous, other people will be too. Yet I know too many who come to dinner multiple times empty handed, and don't take it upon themselves to return the favor, clean the dishes, or reciprocate in some fashion. If I ask for help I generally receive it, but really, in my book, I shouldn't have to ask.

Someone mentioned that I might need to be more upfront about what I expect. But really, if I have to tell you how to behave, then your behavior says nothing about your personality and ability to consider others.

However, for those who need it spelled out, here are what I consider to be rules of common courtesy that I try to follow (at least in regards to food):

1) If you're going to someone's house for dinner, bring something. Pick up a bottle of wine, a dessert, ask the person if they need you to pick anything up on the way. Even if they say nothing, bring something anyways. If it's a last minute dinner or you're running late, it's not always necessary, but if they have time to cook, you have time to stop at Publix.

2) If someone else did the cooking, volunteer to do the cleaning. At the very least help them clean. If you want to be extra nice (especially if they cooked a ton), kick them out of the kitchen and don't let them clean.

3) If you're going someplace with alcohol, and know about it in advance, try to bring some with you to contribute to the stash.

4) Never take the last bite. Always offer it to the other people.

5) If you notice that someone has been doing a lot for you and you haven't had an easy opportunity to return the favor, go out of your way to do something nice for them.

6) When in doubt, ask how you can be of help.

Feel free to add to this list!

All I'm saying is that common courtesy only works if everyone does it (thus the word common). So if you're not already doing so, wise up, and be considerate!