Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Common Courtesy

Sorry all, I know it's been a while since I blogged last. I'll be more consistent again now that my exams are through.

Let me start this blog by mentioning that I am well aware that I used to be one of the inconsiderate (although I'm sure I lapse back from time to time now). As an undergrad I was quite accustomed to others providing me with free alcohol, and it never really occurred to me to buy bottles for mine and my friends' consumption. Then I started hosting pre-parties for sorority functions, and realized just how big an impact it made when girls didn't chip money in or bring something themselves. Especially when the same ones"forgot" repeatedly.

Yet that was one instance, and I have since tried to extend what I believe to be a basic level of courtesy in many areas. Yet, lately I've been noticing an overall lack of courtesy with a lot of people I know. It's more just being unaware of their impact on others than a purposeful neglect, but when the same people repeatedly display this type of behavior, it really gets me thinking about said person's overall values. To give you some examples:

1) I went on a date to an Indian restaurant, where they serve curries with a relatively small portion of rice. Now, most people I know when sharing dishes such as mentioned above, might take a relatively small amount of rice then with a bunch of curry, out of consideration to the others they're sharing it with. Not this guy- he took about half the plate of rice, and continued to down it plain- no curry. And yes, you can bet I read into that action- and promptly stopped dating him. That may seem brash, but really, if you're not even going to be considerate to me on our first few dates, how the heck are you going to be with a relationship??

2) I like to cook, and readily cook for others on many occasions. Now, I don't ever offer something with an expectation of something in return, tit-for-tat, but I do have expectations that if I'm generous, other people will be too. Yet I know too many who come to dinner multiple times empty handed, and don't take it upon themselves to return the favor, clean the dishes, or reciprocate in some fashion. If I ask for help I generally receive it, but really, in my book, I shouldn't have to ask.

Someone mentioned that I might need to be more upfront about what I expect. But really, if I have to tell you how to behave, then your behavior says nothing about your personality and ability to consider others.

However, for those who need it spelled out, here are what I consider to be rules of common courtesy that I try to follow (at least in regards to food):

1) If you're going to someone's house for dinner, bring something. Pick up a bottle of wine, a dessert, ask the person if they need you to pick anything up on the way. Even if they say nothing, bring something anyways. If it's a last minute dinner or you're running late, it's not always necessary, but if they have time to cook, you have time to stop at Publix.

2) If someone else did the cooking, volunteer to do the cleaning. At the very least help them clean. If you want to be extra nice (especially if they cooked a ton), kick them out of the kitchen and don't let them clean.

3) If you're going someplace with alcohol, and know about it in advance, try to bring some with you to contribute to the stash.

4) Never take the last bite. Always offer it to the other people.

5) If you notice that someone has been doing a lot for you and you haven't had an easy opportunity to return the favor, go out of your way to do something nice for them.

6) When in doubt, ask how you can be of help.

Feel free to add to this list!

All I'm saying is that common courtesy only works if everyone does it (thus the word common). So if you're not already doing so, wise up, and be considerate!


SikWit said...

You know what I hate. When you shake a guys hand and he gives you that weak jello rheumatoid arthritis handshake.

Or when you hold the door open for a woman and she doesn't tell you that you are sexy. Do you BELIEVE that shit!!! I mean, if I hold the door open for a woman. She needs to rub my balls or something. Why else would I do it? Any MAN can tell you....that all women should know to FONDLE your balls for holding a door open. I give a's a mandatory pubic hair combing. WHY DON'T ALL WOMEN KNOW THIS!!!

Michael said...

First, if you don't say anthing, then how is a guy suppose to know that it is one of your buttons. Second, another bowl of rice is easily purchased. Third, does this mean you'll have duck tape going in the middle of your bed to insure the guy doesn't cross his side? Get a life. :)