Sunday, December 09, 2007

My dating epiphany

This is a late night blog because tonight I've had somewhat of a dating epiphany. I mean, I blog about dating a lot because it always seems so complicated. But my epiphany tonight is this: dating is simple. Let me explain.

1) Chemistry. You either have it with someone or you don't. For me, this goes way beyond the pure physical or pure mental connection. It's that indescribable pull towards a person that is mutual and makes you want to keep engaging them. And you know this within the first 5 minutes of talking to him/her, usually (there is the exception when people or circumstances change, obviously).

2) Dating is a process by which we try to find someone who complements who we are and what stage of our lives we're in. Don't approach it like a job interview, it's not one: you're neither interviewer nor interviewee. If a date feels like an interview, it's a bad sign.

3) If you're not getting a good relationship vibe, chances are the other person isn't either. That's ok. Sometimes 2 people can get along well and just not click. This is not a big awkward conversation you need to have. Just be honest about it and you both can walk away unharmed.

4) This is the big epiphany. I can and do click with people right off the bat, both male and female. When I click with a guy and have chemistry on top of it, I know right away. I don't have to do some deep introspection on whether there's anything there, it's obvious. It just doesn't happen that often with me. That's ok too. But when it does happen, take advantage of it. Who knows when the next opportunity will arise?

K, with my newfound understanding, I'm happily putting my single self to bed.


Bela Naomi said...

I totally agree. People tell me I need to spend longer and give people more of a chance. For me, if there is not that initial "click", then I feel like it won't happen...

Johanna said...


It really took you this long to come to this conclusion?

I shocked... simply shocked. :)

The problem with your epiphany is not the simplicity in which dating is described - it's the simplicity in which you descibe the process that I find to be quite complicated in reality.

You forget, as well, that many of us aren't even really clear on who we are as human beings. How are we to find that "perfect mate" that compliments us when we don't even know ourselves. Ever feel like your friends know you better than you know yourself? Case and point.