Sunday, November 05, 2006

On Dating Part I

What is the point of dating? After a year an a half sort of in the real world, I still haven't figured this one out. To tell the truth, I still tend to run in the other direction everytime a guy asks for my number, regardless of how cute he is. Maybe it's just me, but I want to revert back to high school and undergrad dating (undergrad only in the sense of actually liking the person, as opposed to the random hookups that happened a lot more frequently). You know, where you really liked a guy and he liked you, and that tension constantly built up until the time you first kissed. I liked the butterfly feeling you'd get before anything happened. And I really like that the majority of these first kisses went with the flow of the moment and were rather memorable.

Now outside in the "real world", you're actually supposed to date. I mean, after the first time or two of meeting a complete stranger, you're supposed to go on a date. Maybe you have a little of the butterflies, but they're just starting to form. And chances are, the only thing you know is that you have potential chemistry. You don't actually KNOW the person. If the date goes well, you might get a kiss, and depending on the person, maybe more. HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE??

To make matters more complicated, there's dating rules and games that everyone seems to understand. How and when do you say you're not interested? Who should call who and when? What is actually a date?.... I think maybe this is why I have such issues with it- I don't know how to play. I can pretend for a little, but sooner or later I'm bound to screw up. Take for instance, the first kiss. One of the last guys I "dated" went to kiss me, and I literally turned the other cheek. Not for lack of wanting to, I just didn't know what signs to read to realize he was about to (that and the fact that he didn't exactly have the smoothest initiation moves ;) ). In "real world dating", there's almost an expected time for a first kiss, which only serves to make that time period more awkward. And if you're like me and try to avoid all potentially awkward situations, well, then, you're just screwed (and not in a good way).


Joshua said...

Amanda, glad to know it isn't just an Aspie thing. Starting relationships, well, that's the bigger thing with me. Albeit, I have a good relationship going on right now with a girl here in Pittsburgh. Physical contact is hard for me, though, and so is conveying my emotions. Probably something to grow out of, but as long as it took for me to actually start a relationship, it might as well just take that long to convey any emotions.

Hope things are going well at Georgia Tech.

SikWit said...

Well I think you don't like the rules because you have your own set of rules that you WANT to happen. It's like everyone is playing basketball and you want to play soccer so you complain. "I just think it would be better if we don't use our hands. THAT'S WHAT I WANT AND I'm A PLAYER." But dating is fucked up LOL. It is specifically designed to favor the stupid and whimsical. I have to force myself to do shit then later I'm like "Why the fuck did I do that? I wasn't even feelin it and got caught up in da GAME." Other times I'm really feelin the person and I just can't execute worth a SHIT. But that's what dating is...a bunch of people with PROBLEMS trying to act like they don't. And then it's frustration at the wasted money. STARBUCKS MUH FUCKAS....WHAT...WHAT!!!