Here you have it, the much awaited for sequel to the dating rant.... :) Btw, all those who read without commenting SUCK! I like knowing what you all think.
Last time around, I never quite answered the question I posed. What is the point in dating? I've been pondering this a lot since I got to Atlanta, because no one ever really has a good answer. I think it's because everyone has different reasons. Here are the three main breakdowns I see:
1) I'll call this high school dating. You date because you like the company, the physical attraction, the chemistry. You're still trying what's out there, and trying to figure out what the heck you want. You like to date, and if someone suits your fancy, why not?
2) I'll call this the religious and over 30 dating. You date because you want a spouse. You try to give everyone a real chance, but call it quits once they're not in it for the long haul or when you realize you couldn't deal with being married to that person. When you're not dating, you feel you're wasting time.
3) I'll call this the picky category. You've dated a bit, and have some idea of what you're looking for (and more of an idea of what you're not). You're not ready to get married anytime in the near future, but you don't much see the point in dating anyone long-term that doesn't have the potential to be that person later on. Other people usually tend to be more concerned with you being single than you are.
In case you can't already tell, I figure I'm in this third category. I mean, I do like the company and all that other good stuff. But I'm still stubbornly independent, and have a tough time ceding much of my time and interests for another, especially someone I'm just lightly dating. I mean, I loved my last relationship where I never saw my boyfriend before 11 on Thurs-Sat nights, think of all the time I had for my girls! :) Besides, it seems to me that you can satisfy any need for companionship with good friends, and as a female, there are always a number of options to satisfy the physical if necessary. As for the 2nd category, I'm not at a place in my life where I could handle losing some of my independence, not always following my dreams, and acting in the best interest of the couple instead of the individual. Which, well, you need to be willing to do to have a functional marriage. And so I keep trucking along as the picky dater, knowing what I want (or rather, what I don't) and ruling out many before I even go on a date.
The thing I don't get about category 3 is the way your friends in serious couples react. "So, are you dating anyone interesting?"... "No, well, don't worry, you'll find him"..."Maybe we can set you up with this friend..." I mean, really, I didn't realize I was worried or needing help. But thanks for feeling sorry for me.