Saturday, January 27, 2007

Over the Top Flirting

I'll start this off by saying that lately my social calendar has become more and more filled. This is nice, for once I'm learning how to actually date (i.e. go out on dates with guys to get to know them versus exclusively dating a guy that you knew as a friend first). With this is a different pace at which you progress, and I'm not just talking physically. Yet not everyone understands this. Between myself and my friends, we've noticed a pattern of overachievers. Or what I'd call over-the-top flirting.

First, the overzealous complimenters. Even before I've met them in person (or someone I've just met in a bar), they're gushing about how cute I am, how I'm such a wonderful person, etc. Seriously, if all you've seen is a picture and a paragraph, YOU DON'T KNOW ME VERY WELL. You don't even know if I look like the girl in the picture. If you use compliments this readily now, how are they going to carry much weight when you do know me? One or two well-placed compliments (that are in line with how much you know about me) are fine, but laying them haphazardly in ways that make no sense does not earn you any points.

Second, the early sexual innuendo flirts. Now while my guy friends can ask me if we're going to have a lingerie pillow fight at the girls' night sleepover, if I've met you once (or not at all), that is encroaching too much on my personal space. No, I don't wish to trade sexual fantasies with you, we met for less than an hour. My mind can function in the gutter as well as any teenage boy's, but I need to know you a bit before I'm willing to talk anything other than hypotheticals.

Lastly, the early emotionally attached guys. If we haven't even met yet, you have no reason to miss me. In fact, up until the point we've been seeing each other multiple times a week and for many weeks, there is no reason for that kind of emotion.

Now, I'm not saying that all guys are like this, but it's definitely a turnoff when they are. In the words of Avital- Slow Down Tiger!

No comments: